ThoughtsByBubbles

I have a lot of realities to face and a lot of issues that I will soon have to deal with by myself.  One of these issues that I deal with and I didn’t realize I had was a eating habit.  It is almost like I don’t have any control over myself and what I am doing.  I have never thought about it until very recently and I am noticing that I do not eat all the time.  I have a tendency to eat at night and to overeat even when I am full.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I never thought that it was possible for someone to overeat just because they felt like it.  I am not talking about overeating by a few bites.  I am talking about eating meal after meal after meal.  I wish I could explain it better but I can’t.  For example, I don’t want to get something to eat until its in the early morning and no one is up but me.  In addition, I wouldn’t just have one meal.  I would eat leftovers, chips, ice cream, breads, cereal…just about anything I could get my hands on I would have to have a taste of.  I never knew I was doing this until recently but when I look back on my habits even when I was younger, I see that that was what  I would do when no one was looking. I have always thought of myself being a lot thinner and prettier but I know deep down that I will never be as thin as people expect me to be.  The only thing I am worried about it not being healthy and living long enough to be happy and raise children.  I don’t mean to diagnose myself but I am almost positive that the reason I am as heavy as I am today is because I eat late at night almost every night.  I believe this because I don’t eat many types of foods so the foods I eat almost always seem to be basic and in addition, I don’t eat a lot when I do actually eat…unless its absolutely delicious and I feel I can’t live without another bite.

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